Thomas is My Name
My last name was fashioned in Calabria...
A crossroads of
Greeks and Italians,
Arabs and Ottomans,
Egyptians and Normans,
Jews, Muslims, and a few others.
But what's most important,
To me at least, are the
Romans and Byzantines.
My middle name was formed in a family...
Over many centuries and
Passed from generation to generation
In Italy and now America.
Worn by tribulation,
Buffeted by triumph, and
And most importantly,
Inspired by saints...
Specifically, the one who founded monasticism.
My first name was spoken by Christ...
Te'oma, in fact,
An Aramaic nickname
Given to a man
Who looked like someone else.
This twin of whom I speak
Only said four sentences
In the New Testament, but
Each is dear to my heart.
"Let us also go, that we may die with him" (John 11:16).
From the time I was child
I knew I was called by God.
At the same time, I have been
Selfish, petulant, and prideful.
As we profess, 'I know my transgressions, and
my sin is ever before me" (Psalm 51).
But ... and I can say this honestly ... at every stage of life
I have chosen to die with Him.
"Lord, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?” (John 14:5).
I've spent a life discerning God's will ...
And... to be honest,
I've pretty much known what it was
From the beginning.
But the thing is ... the path to living out that will
Wasn't always clear ... mostly because of my decisions ...
But also, because of those who didn't have my best interests at heart.
Not to mention the work of the evil one.
"Unless I see in his hands the print of the nails and place my finger in the mark of the nails, and place my hand in his side, I will not believe" (John 20:25).
God gave me a deep faith and a serious mind
And I've tried my best to use them both, together,
To know, to love, and to serve Him.
Along the way, though, I came to understand that
There are people who simply cannot be trusted and
There are those who would stop at nothing to destroy my resolve.
Alas! I still cry out: I love you! Help me feed your sheep! (cf. John 21:15-17).
"My Lord and my God!" John 20:28.
There has never been a moment in my life
When I doubted God or disbelieved.
There has never been a moment in my life
When I thought God left or let me down.
There has never been a moment in my life
When I thought about turning my back on God
There has never been a moment in my life
When I wanted to follow a different path.
O Holy and Glorious Apostle Thomas!
You who lived in His truth
You who were filled with divine grace
You who traveled to the ends of the earth
You who were faithful to the end ...
I thank God for you
I ask for your intercession before Him who is eternal
I ask for your help in following His will
Share with me your faith, hope, and love!
Written on the commemoration of St. Thomas the Apostle.
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