Late in the evening when the house is still, The quiet can feel like an absence. I have known that darkness and The prayer that comes with it. It makes the heart ache and The mind vacant. There's the Name too. It's hard to whisper in those moments Because the fear of His abandonment feels real And the desire for wisdom seems fake. I've been there. I'll bet you have, too. It makes you close your eyes and Hold your arms tightly across your waist. Eventually .... and There's alw

Somewhere deep inside, Beneath my titles, My work, My relationships, My words, and If I'm being honest, My own noise ... There is a flame burning. I did not kindle it. It was given as a gift. It was fostered by saints, (and, oddly, some sinners too). I tended to it by Sacrament and Silence (not nearly enough ... yet!) And it has never once been extinguished ... Ever! This is the great, joyful secret of my life (it could be yours too, by the way). God is not far away. The ligh

There is another who wears our face. He rises before us in the morning and Speaks before we have a thought. He keeps our appointments, Answers to our names, and Carries around our favorite sins like relics. The old Germanic tales said that To see your double was to see your death. Perhaps they were right. Perhaps he is the death we have been living. Saint Paul called him the old man, The self we must put off, Forged from ten thousand small consents. He is a distorted copy of

Five weeks from today, on August 6, we celebrate the great Feast of the Transfiguration, when Christ ascended Mount Tabor and shone before Peter, James, and John with a light not of this world. I have stood on that mountain. Tabor rises alone from the Jezreel Valley. The road to its summit climbs in tight switchbacks that force you to slow, to turn, to ascend in earnest. At the top, looking out over the green hills of Galilee, I felt my own calling to the contemplative life q

Intercede for me and pray for my spiritual sons and daughters so that we may have a stable foundation of deep prayer and a ministry of healing the afflicted. Please keep me close so that I may have strength to walk with everyone who comes for confession and spiritual guidance. Thank you for teaching me about essence, energies, uncreated light, and the Jesus Prayer. I am especially grateful for your wise and holy counsel because it gave me a pathway to explain the divinely ins

"...let us make our way towards the radiance of the light of grace, that we may acknowledge and venerate the threefold Godhead, who shines with a single indescribable radiance from one nature in three persons. "Let us lift up the eyes of our understanding to the Word who now sits, with His body, above the vaults of heaven. And He who sits in divine splendour on the right hand of majesty, utters these words to us as if from afar, 'If anyone wants to stand in the presence of th

How can this be? Pouring Your love into my heart? Filling my mind with Your knowledge? How can You want me before you in prayer? Such a wretched soul Crying for my sin. Rending my garments In a wilderness of my own making. Hiding and Avoiding. Repenting and Hoping? There I am. Helplessly Loving you with all my heart Desiring to fulfill Your will. Daring to be close to You now Imagining life with You for all eternity. Seeking Your face Warming by Your light. "What is this spin

It is getting late and My head hangs low. It is darker now and My tears begin to flow. It is desperate all round so My hands grasp Because they know. The divine language of love, Played on a rope Made of silence. With humility and love, I implore you. Give me shelter, So I may pray through the nights. "O Mistress, Empress and Lady, Defend all who are in danger and misfortune Or weak from many sins, And who stand before your holy Icon Praying with tears, humility, repentance,

Head bowed And hair soaked, My fingers grasp The woolen rope on my hand. Ebb of sin Flow of prayer, My mind in heart The knots move my fingers. Eyes closed And body still, My soul receives The silence nearer my spirit. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have mercy on me, A sinner. Sounds of rain in my ears And cracks of thunder in my soul, Is praying in the rain Another Baptism, but of tears?

"A certain brother by the name of John came from the coastal country to the holy and great father Philemon, and clasping his feet, said to him: 'What must I do, Father, to be saved? I see that my mind is distracted and wanders hither and thither where it should not.' After a short silence, Philemon said to him: 'This is a sickness suffered by those who are external, and it remains in you because your love of God is not yet perfect; up till now the warmth of the love and the