Below is a reflection that will help you consider the current state of your spiritual life. All of us drift from God, focusing on our wants and desires instead of on our salvation and what God needs from us in this life.
If you read this slowly and reflectively, you may feel the pain from your past and present sins. You may even feel the weight of changing into something new. Please do not worry. We all feel like this. But if we remain constant in our desire to be closer to God, the internal fire and closeness to Him will inflame us once again.
"We grow cold within - when our heart is distracted, when it cleaves to something other than God, worrying about different things, getting angry and blaming someone - when we are discontented and pander to the flesh, wallowing in luxury and wandering thoughts. Guard against these things, and the coldness will diminish. As to the heart - where else is life if not in the heart?"
- St. Theophan the Recluse as found in The Art of Prayer: An Orthodox Anthology, Timothy Ware, ed., Faber and Faber, 1966, p. 259.