I try to understand
How it is
That You are
So near to me?
I want to know why?
I want to know how?
But why do I want to know?
Is it so that I can understand it?
Is it so I can explain it to others?
You fill me.
You surround me.
You are above me.
You raise me up.
You keep me grounded.
You use my hands to bless.
...to anoint.
...to absolve.
...to commune.
...to immerse.
You use my mouth to taste Your sacrifice.
...my eyes to see Your presence.
...my ears to hear Your heavenly hosts.
...my nose to smell prayers rise like incense.
With such a gift
Why do I still feel a hole within?
What is in the hole?
Or, rather, what is lacking in me that created a whole in the first place?
Is it simply sin?
Is it obstinance?
Is it anger?
Over what?
The wounds of my searching are
A failure to remember
That the clanging symbol
Neither hears, nor sees, nor remembers.
The hole that remains
Must be filled with the silence
You already told me was mine.
Heal my wound.
Silence
O beautiful silence!
Be mine
Today, tomorrow, and forever!
An example of an icon of the "Seven-Arrow" Icon of the Mother of God via the Orthodox Calendar. HOLY TRINITY RUSSIAN ORTHODOX CHURCH, a parish of the Patriarchate of Moscow (holytrinityorthodox.com).